And now, the #eurovision2013 Opening Ceremony by Danny Boyle. Minus Beckham, Bond and the Queen. #eurovision
introduced by 'Pietra Merde' the swedish Sarah Silverman
#eurovision or is it Tina Fey...
Or Lucy Porteror Nina Conti
'je ne sai qua pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa'
01 #France its the french Lady Gaga aka Lady FraFra
#eurovision "I'm in love with you - because of my shoes" CATCHY
He has love and pain - in his shoes. Lithuania
#eurovision At least they're not on his shoulders.
Moldova Roll over.
Her dress is on fire! Is that advisable with a redhead?
04 entry 'Marry me' by Finland. Definitely not from Bruno Mars. Or any other mars bar.
04 finland - the
#eurovision blonde contest
04 Finland - Nice touch to get one of Britney Spears actual many wedding dresses via ebay
#eurovision 04 Finland KISS KISS BANG BANG.
#spain 'heffer heffer heffer heffer heffer heffer chrissy waddle heffer heffer heffer #fastshow #eurovision
#belgium LOVE KILLS. But Keegan scores on the rebound. Oops sorry wrong punchline for wrong set-up. back to the drawing board #eurovision
#Estonia 'Da spool da wool on ga na pa la eh boosa slimy stare down by ranna da saire' ITS A WINNER I THINK. #eurovision
#belarus Solero solero cornetto magnum cornetto solero - ba ba ba ba - netto Lidl heavenly waitrose, beautiful people #eurovision
#belarus 'solero solero solero tis song makes no sense - solero solero i'll sing it anyway solero solero aren't i pretty hey' #eurovision
#MALTA Good to see Frankie Dettori keeping busy while he's banned from the racecourse #eurovision
#Russia 'Together Forever We Came Together As One. Bury Our Guns' No mention of the nuclear weapons. Or the Cold War #eurovision
#Germany 'do you know its time to let yourself go. We are glorious' confident these germans - no change there then #eurovision
#Germany win #eurovision song contest 2013, next years event will be staged live at Wembley #towelsdown #dontvotegermany
#netherlands Never wins. nederlllllllllaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzzzzzz copyright Dom Joly #eurovision
#uk #britain GO BONNY TYLER - I hope we told Europe that this is Baby Spices mum #eurovision #zigazigah
#sweden Its Justin Malmo #eurovision If you could see me now.. i just got back from the dry cleaners my whites have never been so white
#denmark last won in 2000 with the Olsen brothers. DId they have a sex change after their movie career faltered? #eurovision
#denmark its the girl from twilight. or vampire game of thrones or something like that. #eurovision
18 #denmark How many times can we win or lose? CHECK THE LEAGUE TABLE #eurovision
#iceland eg afram ki wo ga wof frusismendai yellow leaf yeggow leaf make s weef eg bin pooooooofff we yegga leaf #eurovision
#iceland yellow teeth yellow teeth yellow teeth yellow teeth yellow teeth yellow teeth yellow teeth #eurovision
#azerbaijan OVERLOAD OVERLOAD DOWNLOAD ocean finance smile bank give me love if its only a moment in time three rylans on my #eurovision
#greek Alcohol is free. but not in Sweden £7 a pint and that was in 2003 when i was last there. roulette tables in nightclubs #eurovision
#greece alcohol is free. hayla naquila hayla naquila hayla. dum di dum di dum dum di dum. #eurovision polla polla polla olla olla olla!
22 #ukraine I WAS ABOUT TO SING THIS SONG BUT THEN I GOT HIGH THEN I GOT HIGH THEN I GOT HIGH... #eurovision
#Italy soostrenio cornettto give it to me - delicious ice cream just 25p. per apprezzze sylvio berlusque-sconi schoochi coo #eurovision
#georgia WATERFALL 'we didn't waste the water it was always turning, but we stopped a fire' #eurovision always look on the bright side..
#ireland Well anything is better than Jedward. Although I preferred Dustin the turkey. #eurovision
RETWEET FOR Jean-Paul. FAVOURITE for John-Paul
#eurovision lets decide this thing ONCE AND FOR ALL
can we vote for this one? Its catchy.
#eurovision THE WINNER TAKES IT ALL loser standing sore.
uk voted 12 points for denmark because they have a red and white flag like us (reversed) heavy
#ukip vote #eurovision
its raining in germany. every cloud an' all that
i love the way europeans say uh-kraine. or is it oooh-kraine
Great St Peter @radiogagger
#eurovision dee pwai
le-kraine, they're feminine now
frasier krane, they're neurotic now #eurovision
82 tweets! Signing out for now. Pictures later!
PS If they're not reading as funny, try reading them in a sarcastic voice. It helps.