Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Football Funnies - March 15/16th 2014

It's so tough down at the bottom of the Premier League, there are actually six teams in the bottom three.

Hull 0 Man City 2
Good goal from David De Silva, returning from his winter mid season goal break.

Gold medal for Silva?

Who keeps Kompany company during his (presumably) three match ban?.
I suppose he could hang out with Alan Pardew..

Aston Villa 1 Chelsea 0
Willian sent off. He had to leave early anyway, to get back for battle rounds on BBC1.

Fabulous finish fabian!
Delightful dribbling Delph!

Mourinho has blamed Chris Foy for defeat and the two sendings-off. He said Foy should give up refereeing and stick to the Olympic Cycling.

Mourinho Willian and Eamires all sent off. 
So now we know who keeps Kompany company. Along with pardew.

Swansea 1 West Bromwich 2
If Swansea AND Cardiff get relegated, The Welsh Premier League will be REALLY interesting next season.

Savage summarising tonight. Well the BBC will insist on employing Robbie.

Well done WBA under pressure manager Pepe Mel on win at Swansea. Still looking for first win in England though.

Everton 2 Cardiff 1
Inspired goalkeeping from Marshall for Cardiff. Marshall marshalling the troops. Or not as case may be, in 90th minute.

"That's the margins innit?" Nice bit of cockney from olly gunnar... I thought he was from Manchester?

Southampton (aka England B) 4 Norwich 2
Roy Hodgson gave four Saints players their England debut this season. He's waiting for the saints job full time. He might be better sending Delia his cv

How comes the Saints manager has a translator, but none for Rickie Lambert?

Stoke 3 West Ham 1
"a welcome mid-table look to the match between stoke and west ham" Try telling the fans that gary.

Early goal for Andy Carroll, still trying to force his way into the England squad for the permanently injured spot.

That Odemwingie goal/tap-in was worth driving all the way from QPR for.

And Odemwingie's second was worth driving through the night for.

Fulham 1 Newcassle' 0
I thought Alan Pardew might go shopping in harrods during the Fulham v Newcastle match

Cruel for krul.

Felix Magath's new glasses made a winning debut today. Hard to see a way back for the old glasses. Lasted even less than rene rene.

Sunderland 0 Crystal Palace 0
He's hit the woodwork! A normal night out in sunderland, to be fair

The only Premier League game of the weekend to finish goalless. Actually kicked off 3pm saturday and were still playing sunday morning without troubling the scorers.

Manchester Disunited 0 Liverpool 3
Two out of three penalties scored by Gerrard. Two out of three ain't bad.

Gerrard unlucky not to follow in footsteps of Jan Molby and score a hat-trick of penalties. Still time for a drink driving jail sentence tho..

Things are getting so bad for Manchester United, rumours are that the Glazers will sell to Vincent Tann and change to a blue kit

After 2-2 draw with Fulham on 9th Feb, Moyes said that was as bad as it gets. He was wrong... Olympiakos and then Liverpool.

Rooney said defeat at home to Liverpool one of his worst days in football. Well, second only to signing that new contract maybe..

Liverpool normally rely on the SAS to get the goals. Today they stepped up/on the GAS.
United were in reverse and showing a bad SAG.

Who'd have thought when the Grumpy Old Scot left, United would fall apart. They need to sign Troy or Dynamo, to bring back the magic.

Tottenham 0 Arsenal 1
I think spurs are missing the 'el' inbetween the hp on their shirts

I heard Theo has taken an extra big wallet today to catch all the coins.

On the plus side for spurs if they keep 75% possession for rest of game they can restrict arsenal to 1-0

BREAKING NEWS: Jermain Defoe has scored twice on his debut in the North Canadian Derby.

Rosicky always scores on the big occasions.  
Fa cup 3rd round v spurs. 5th rd v Orient at Brisbane Road

Tim Sherwood's been a manager for 5 minutes, already showing the anger management issues of Alan Pardew. Fast learner.

Tim should be careful though, throwing balls at players. He hasn't got the security of an 8 year contract like Pardew  

Tottenham need another £100m rebuild in the summer. 
Gary Lineker better forget Sports Relief and start

Don't forget... You saw them first on twitter!

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