The Managerial Merry-go-round Feb 14th 2009

** Putting *** the *** ffff... fun *** into *** Football ***


Thought of the day...
Will the Chelsea manager job be the best paid part time job ever?
(I never saw that one on Gumtree...)

Guus Hiddink gets the gig, through his Russian contacts, but won't start the job this week. This gives the laundry woman an extra week to find and wash Glenn Hoddle's old Chelsea 'GH' tracksuit.
Gerard Houllier must be gutted his application was lost in the post by widcat striking British postman...

The Premier League managers went out two by two...
September: Alan Curbishley (WHU) Kevin Keegan (Noocastle)
October: Juan Ramos (Spurs) , Harry Redknapp (Portsmouth)
December: Roy Keane (Sunderland) Paul Ince (Blackburn)
February: Tony Adams (Portsmouth) Felipe (Chelski)

SueOne
Just as well Felipe Scolari is getting a pay-off from Chelsea in the region of £6-7 million after just seven months in charge.
He wont feel the need to sue Mike Riley, the ref who sent off Frank Lampard and left Chelsea with 10 men against close rivals Liverpool who went on to win with two late late goals.

Odd Odds
Avram Grant was in the fairly unique situation on Monday of being favourite for both Chelsea and Pompey jobs at one point. Now Portsmouth is his only choice, unless Sven nicks it.
I hear Grant was nicknamed BBC during his previous spell on the coast, not because he casually insulted black tennis players in the green room, but for his training methods of 'Balls, Bibs and Cones'

Licence To Shrill
Carlos Tevez had his car siezed by police on the M60 in Manchester at the weekend after they found he doesn't possess a full UK driving licence.
Tevez claimed that he drives on the licence of Kia Joorabchian who owns his soul, but police weren't having it.


Russian It Through Before The Deadline
Question marks over the time the Andre Arshavin transfer from Zenit St Petersburg to Arsenal was finalised.
Arsene Wenger has said he did not see the clock/incident.


Sue Two
Kevin Keegan is to sue Newcastle for £9 million after his dismissal as manager.
Blimey, his speeding ticket in Carlisle last week was only £750.

They Think It's all Fffffootball... December

*** Putting *** the *** ffff... fun *** into *** Football ***


Can We Play Real Every Week?Celtic manager Gordon Strachan explained the reason for breaking their
european duck with a win over Villareal.
"It was the yellow kit, we thought we were playing East Fife in the
Scottish Cup"


Michael Owen is considering joining Spurs in the transfer window.
He was initially impressed with the local hospital facilities and has
heard good things about the St Johns ambulance staff in the ground.


Bang To Rights
Middlesbrough and The FA are unhappy a Newcastle fan who racially abused Egyptian striker Mido has not received a banning order.
The Judge explained 'having a season ticket at Newcastle is punishment enough'.


Calm Down Calm Down
Rafa Benitez has admitted that Liverpool won't win the Premiership this season.
He was forced to admit it after a journalist found his betting slip with 50 grand on Chelsea and kindly returned it to him.

One day later, Benitez backtracked, saying Liverpool have a 80% chance of winnng the Premiership if they are top at Christmas.
Journalists have decided to have a whip round and buy Rafa a calculator
for Christmas..

The Only Way Is Up, Maybe
The incredible rise of Hull City has continued, from the bottom of the Fourth division ten years ago to the top six of the Premiership, inclusing wins over Arsenal and Tottenham and a draw at Anfield.
Manager Phil Brown however was unhappy with FIFA, who have refused to
invite Hull City to the World Club Championship starting this week in Japan..

I Did Not See The League Table Incident
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger still believes his team can win the Premiership after dropping more points in a 1-1 draw with Middlesbrough.
Obviously,for Christmas he is hoping Man United, Chelsea and Liverpool
get the same present (points deduction) as Rotherham, Bournemouth and Luton.

The Chips Are All Right
Former Spurs manager Juane Ramos says the players diet was the reason for the clubs bad start to the season when he was manager.
I suppose now Harry Redknapp is in charge and spurs are off the bottom
of the table, Ramos is back in Spain eating lots of humble pie.


X Marks The Stud Marks
Wayne Rooney's streak of correctly picking the X Factor winner continues.
He's certainly 'stamped' his authority on predicting X Factor winners ...


Unluckiest fan of the Week Award must go to Albert Goolstrap of Twickenham.
Brentford fan Albert regrets leaving the match v Bradford early on Saturday when the score was 0-0. Nipping out in the 85th minute to beat the traffic, he missed goals in the 88th, 89th and 90th minute as his team won 2-1...

You Don't Say?
An anagram of Paul Ince is U Nice Pal...
Plain Cue or Cue L Pain (L stand for Losing?)

Thought of the Day:
If Roy Keane had got the Blackburn job, would he be Roy of The Rovers?