Football Funnies - Dec 11th... 2010

Footy Funnies - Dec 11th... 2010

CARLING CUP

2018 WORLD CUP

PREMIER LEAGUE FOCUS

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CARLING CUP

West Ham 4 Man United 0Can't believe no-one used the headline "SPECTOR SPECTACULAR, UNITED SPECTATORS"
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2018 WORLD CUP BID

The 2018 World Cup will be played in...

(DRAMATIC PAUSE - opens envelope)... Russia
The England bid sent David Cameron, David Beckham and Prince William to impress Sepp Blatter and his cronies.
But we know Blatter likes the ladies, he suggested womens football should be played in skin-tight kits.
We should have sent Thatcher, Posh Spice and Lady Diana's corpse...



CANT COUNT WON'T COUNT
England crashed Out in first round of voting, despite being promised votes from many FIFA officials
The only consolation was there was no penalty shoot outs and no disallowed goals that crossed the line. (I knew they should have took Theo Walcott)


BID IT LIKE BECKHAM
This was David Beckham's last chance to win a World Cup.
And this time he didn't even get a chance to back heel an Argie and get sent off.


PUSH THE BUTTON
I personally think Russia winning could be a good thing...
We won't have a big bang nuclear trident to worry about for the next eight years...
While they have still have nuclear weapons, can we let them host EVERY WORLD CUP?

FROM RUSSIA WITH CASH
And congratulations must go to Roman Abramovitch, who was a backer of the Russian bid
About time he saw one of his teams win a major international competition.

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PREMIER LEAGUE FOCUS
AHA - Chris Hughton Out - Alan Pardew In
Can someone please explain how a manager gets sacked from Southampton in the Third Division in August and appointed in the Premier League in December.
At this rate, Roy Keane will be sacked by Ipswich this week and turn up managing Ajax or Real Madrid in February or April.

Newcastle v Liverpool
This week saw Newcastle grab their title back from Liverpool as the biggest joke in the premier league.
Now they just have to prove it on the pitch.
Tottenham v Chelsea
For the first time since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, Spurs go into a clash with Chelsea in better form.
I wonder if Abramovitch would give up Russia's winning world cup bid in exchange for Gareth Bale at Stamford Bridge?


Man United v Arsenal
Patrice Evra told the press that Arsenal will win nothing with their team of kids.
Well that's Arsene Wengers team talk done for him.

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Until the next time
Trigger
x

They Think It's all Fffffootball... December

*** Putting *** the *** ffff... fun *** into *** Football ***


Can We Play Real Every Week?Celtic manager Gordon Strachan explained the reason for breaking their
european duck with a win over Villareal.
"It was the yellow kit, we thought we were playing East Fife in the
Scottish Cup"


Michael Owen is considering joining Spurs in the transfer window.
He was initially impressed with the local hospital facilities and has
heard good things about the St Johns ambulance staff in the ground.


Bang To Rights
Middlesbrough and The FA are unhappy a Newcastle fan who racially abused Egyptian striker Mido has not received a banning order.
The Judge explained 'having a season ticket at Newcastle is punishment enough'.


Calm Down Calm Down
Rafa Benitez has admitted that Liverpool won't win the Premiership this season.
He was forced to admit it after a journalist found his betting slip with 50 grand on Chelsea and kindly returned it to him.

One day later, Benitez backtracked, saying Liverpool have a 80% chance of winnng the Premiership if they are top at Christmas.
Journalists have decided to have a whip round and buy Rafa a calculator
for Christmas..

The Only Way Is Up, Maybe
The incredible rise of Hull City has continued, from the bottom of the Fourth division ten years ago to the top six of the Premiership, inclusing wins over Arsenal and Tottenham and a draw at Anfield.
Manager Phil Brown however was unhappy with FIFA, who have refused to
invite Hull City to the World Club Championship starting this week in Japan..

I Did Not See The League Table Incident
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger still believes his team can win the Premiership after dropping more points in a 1-1 draw with Middlesbrough.
Obviously,for Christmas he is hoping Man United, Chelsea and Liverpool
get the same present (points deduction) as Rotherham, Bournemouth and Luton.

The Chips Are All Right
Former Spurs manager Juane Ramos says the players diet was the reason for the clubs bad start to the season when he was manager.
I suppose now Harry Redknapp is in charge and spurs are off the bottom
of the table, Ramos is back in Spain eating lots of humble pie.


X Marks The Stud Marks
Wayne Rooney's streak of correctly picking the X Factor winner continues.
He's certainly 'stamped' his authority on predicting X Factor winners ...


Unluckiest fan of the Week Award must go to Albert Goolstrap of Twickenham.
Brentford fan Albert regrets leaving the match v Bradford early on Saturday when the score was 0-0. Nipping out in the 85th minute to beat the traffic, he missed goals in the 88th, 89th and 90th minute as his team won 2-1...

You Don't Say?
An anagram of Paul Ince is U Nice Pal...
Plain Cue or Cue L Pain (L stand for Losing?)

Thought of the Day:
If Roy Keane had got the Blackburn job, would he be Roy of The Rovers?