Football Funnies September 28th 2000 and 10

REMEMBER REMEMBER THE 23rd of SEPTEMBER
I don't normally do an 'ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY' this feature in the mail-out but 23rd September 2003 is a famous day in footballing history...
It the day that Rio Ferdinand forgot to turn up for a drug test, and was subsequently dropped from the England squad to play Turkey in Istanbul the following month.
Gary Neville suddenly went from ugly Man United and England full back to ugly Man United full back and England Self-appointed Union Rep.



Rio claimed he missed the test because he was moving house that day.
He never speculated on whether it was a crack house though...



Rio was later banned for eight months, missing the Euro 2004 finals, but then again,
If he had been selected in the squad, would he have remembered to turn up with his passport?


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STOKE 1 WEST HAM 1
Their were further suggestions that West Ham are a one man team when Scott Parker grabbed the goal that earned them a point at Stoke.
Rumours that the new owners of West Ham are trying to sign Paul Parker and Captain Parker from Thunderbirds have not been confirmed by the club.

USELESS STAT OF THE DAY
At one point on saturday five of the six premier league matches were tied at 1-1
(WBA v Birmingham, Villa v Bolton, Sunderland v Arsenal, Tottenham v Wolves and Stoke v WHU)
That maybe a useless stat of the day to most of us, it might be a million quid in the bank for the Asian betting handicaps group who normally bet on Pakistan cricket matches.

I DID NOT SEE THE INCIDENT.
Arsene Wenger has been told by the Premier league not to touch the fourth official as they don't know where he's been.
It is of course the second unauthorised handling by a Frenchman in the last 12 months, following Thierry Henry in Dublin.

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Man United 3 Liverpool 2
United triumphed in the big North West clash with a hat-trick from £30 million forgotten man Dimi Berbatov.
Only another 97 goals to fully justify that fee then.
The biggest comeback involving the Pool since Michael Barrymore.



I DONT LIKE CRICKET
United manager Sir Rolex Ferguson told the media (although not the BBC) that it could have been a cricket score.
If the BBC want Sir Alex to speak to them on future Match of The Days, they'd be better off not investigating any links between Fergie and the Pakistan cricket team.



CAN YOU PHEEL IT?
Fergies relucatance to be interviewed by John Motson and co means a chance for assistant manager Mike Phelan to fill in every saturday.
Phelan is getting on so well with the BBC, they're thinking of inviting him onto Strictly Come Dancing, the National Lottery Show and Michael McIntyres Comedy Roadshow.


Thats all till the weekend
Hasta La Vista
Trigger
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