F-f-f-ootball - Your 'Aving A Laugh - September 13th 2010

F-f-f-f-OOTBALL....
YOUR 'AVING A LAUGH

What a week, an England footballer caught up in scandal, an England footballer injured on the pitch, an England manager steps down to spend more time as a pensioner, and an old favourite (punchline) as an old favourite returns to the premiership, or whatever it's called by the marketing people. Hold on to your seats.. Trigger

ROONEY PAYS £1,200 A NIGHT FOR PROSTITUTE

The News of The World and Sunday Mirror took a break from Cricket scandals to tell the story of Rooney 'playing away' while his wife was pregnant

I wonder what will run out first, his good looks, his money or his luck?

SWITZERLAND 1 ENGLAND 3

On the bright side, Rooney is still a vital part of the England team, and importantly a team player.

Unlike John Terry, he didn't sleep with a team-mates bird.

What Next for Rooney?

Dropped by Sir Alex on saturday for Man United's trip to his old team Everton at Goodison Park, Roo will return for the Champions League stroll v Rangers

Oh well, at least it left him free on Saturday to burn all copies of the News Of The World with Pastor Terry Jones.

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England 4 Bulgaria 0

England started 2012 qualifying comfortably thanks to Jermain Defoes hat-trick, but he now faces 3 months out after picking up an injury in Swtizerland

I suppose he wanted to spend the last few days of Big Brother in front of the telly, after picking up so many birds from the programme over the years

Switzerland 1 England 3

England ended the match in Basle with 6 Man City players on the pitch, the first time since 2001 one club had provided 6 of the England 11.

They still have a way to go to match Corinthian Casuals who supplied all 11 players for Englnd v Wales in 1894 AND 1895.

Given Man City's current cash flow, it's probably the ONLY time they'll ever be compared to the noble amateurs of Corinthian Casuals.

Thank You For The Day

England's qualifiers got off to the unusual Friday/Tuesday combination, after years (decades even) of playing Saturday/Wednesdays back to back internationals.

I suppose it gives the players an extra day to spend with prostitutes/other players birds/Big Brother contestants.

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For more up to the minute funny stuff go to www.twitter.com/radiogagger

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FABIO STEPS DOWN AFTER 2012 EURO's (TO SPEND EUROS)

Fabio Capello has announced that he will stand down as England manager after The 2012 Euro's to spend more time 'as a pensioner'

I know his English is not great, and he is well paid as England manager, but is he planning to spend more time with Wayne Rooney at £1,200 a night?

FABIO TO BE REPLACED BY ENGLISHMAN

It was well documented recently by a 'CLUB ENGLAND DIRECTOR' that the next England manager will be English.

Does that rule Mikel Arteta IN or OUT? At least it gives Martin O'Neil two years to apply for a British passport.

FABIO QUITS TO SPEND MORE TIME A PENSIONER

If England want to keep some continuity, they should choose Brucie

Not (Englishman) Steve Bruce, pensioner Bruce Forsyth.

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GERRARD WHO?

Gerrard Houllier is back in English football as Aston Villa manager but not sure when he is available to take over due to serving notice from the French Football Federation.

Perhaps Glenn Hoddle, Gus Hiddink or Glynn Hodges could step in as caretaker GH. They wouldn't need to change the initials on the tracksuit.

THE BEST EXCUSE EVER FOR MISSING A MATCH

At the press conference that welcomed him as Villa manager, Gerrard stated he would not be available for the next match (tonight) against Stoke as he had meetings to attend in his role as Technical Director for the French Federation.

I have to say that is the best excuse I've heard from an actual manager of a team. I do know of a Leyton Orient fan who missed a rare Andy Harris goal (at Oxford) for a dentist appointment but the closest he gets to picking the team is Championship Manager the PC game.

Until the next time

Trigger

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