Wednesday, 23 June 2010

World Cup Diary - England v Algeria (+ Germany v Serbia + Slovenia v USA)

Friday June 18th
Early kick offs -
Germany 0 Serbia 1
It's times like this Germany must wish they were in a group with Algeria and Austria.

Slovenia 2 United States 2U - S - A win TWO to TWO!!

After the Slovenia v USA game the group reads as follows:
Slovena 4 pts from 2 games.
USA 2pts from 2 games
England 1pt from 1 game
Algeria 0pt from 1 game.

Group C - England v AlgeriaTeam news: James in for Rob Green. Carragher in central defence replacing injured Lead Knee.
Heskey retains his place alongside Wayne Rooney upfront. Gareth Barry replaces Milner in midfield.

Bloody hell england. 4 minutes gone and not scored yet. Sort it out..
Oh hang on, I'm watching on ITV High definition...

On the ITV high definition coverage, it's looks as if the green kitted algerians are naked.
The algerians are wearing green. Last time england blamed the ball. This time they can blame the kit.
John Terry goes down injured.
If he misses the rest of the tournament will FIFA let us replace him with Wayne Bridge?
Half time England 0 Algeria 0If we don't qualify from this group we should make the players return to England by ricshaw as punishment.

Substitutions - Wright-Phillips on for Lennon. Defoe on for Heskey. Is the end of Heskey's England career?
We asked the same question in 2006. In fact, we hope the same thing after every Heskey appearance.

Peter Crouch is brought on for Gareth Barry. Come on Crouchy, remember the spirit of 06, and the late goal v Trinidad and Tobago.

Final Score England 0 Algeria 0
"And so England's proud unbeaten record continues"
Clearly, ITV have signed Adrian Chiles for his stand up comedy.

Come on fab, david blunkets dog can see that this team is missing something from qualifying..
Get Matthew Upson on the pitch (oh, ok then, Joe Cole)

As the players trudge off the pitch Wayne Rooney mouths something about loyal supporters.
It's unfair to criticize our Wazza.
After all, it was his missus who presented "Coleen's Real Women"

Latest Group Standings
(For those with a nervious disposition, look away now...)
Slovania 4pts 2 games
USA 2 pts 2 games
England 2pts 2 gamesAlgeria 1 pt 2 games.
It's the group of death. And that's just for fans who are dying of boredom.

If we finish 3rd in the group do we drop into the FIF-OPA League Group Stages?

In the second round England could still end up playing Germany, Serbia or Ghana.
Or be on the same plane home as the French...

Things are so bad, James Corden is being flown out to replace David Beckham as team mascot.
We need another rousing speech like he made at BBC Sports Personality of the Year, as opposed to the ballet lessons he had with Man United.

Ok, enough flaffing about Don Fabio... This should be the team for the next match:

Goalkeeper - Becks on cructhes. Defence - James Corden on his own.
Midfield Boris & the two Millibands
Forwards - Princes Harry and Wills with Michael Owen on crutches in the middle.

Until the next one

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