Football Funnies - Dec 11th... 2010

Footy Funnies - Dec 11th... 2010

CARLING CUP

2018 WORLD CUP

PREMIER LEAGUE FOCUS

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CARLING CUP

West Ham 4 Man United 0Can't believe no-one used the headline "SPECTOR SPECTACULAR, UNITED SPECTATORS"
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2018 WORLD CUP BID

The 2018 World Cup will be played in...

(DRAMATIC PAUSE - opens envelope)... Russia
The England bid sent David Cameron, David Beckham and Prince William to impress Sepp Blatter and his cronies.
But we know Blatter likes the ladies, he suggested womens football should be played in skin-tight kits.
We should have sent Thatcher, Posh Spice and Lady Diana's corpse...



CANT COUNT WON'T COUNT
England crashed Out in first round of voting, despite being promised votes from many FIFA officials
The only consolation was there was no penalty shoot outs and no disallowed goals that crossed the line. (I knew they should have took Theo Walcott)


BID IT LIKE BECKHAM
This was David Beckham's last chance to win a World Cup.
And this time he didn't even get a chance to back heel an Argie and get sent off.


PUSH THE BUTTON
I personally think Russia winning could be a good thing...
We won't have a big bang nuclear trident to worry about for the next eight years...
While they have still have nuclear weapons, can we let them host EVERY WORLD CUP?

FROM RUSSIA WITH CASH
And congratulations must go to Roman Abramovitch, who was a backer of the Russian bid
About time he saw one of his teams win a major international competition.

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PREMIER LEAGUE FOCUS
AHA - Chris Hughton Out - Alan Pardew In
Can someone please explain how a manager gets sacked from Southampton in the Third Division in August and appointed in the Premier League in December.
At this rate, Roy Keane will be sacked by Ipswich this week and turn up managing Ajax or Real Madrid in February or April.

Newcastle v Liverpool
This week saw Newcastle grab their title back from Liverpool as the biggest joke in the premier league.
Now they just have to prove it on the pitch.
Tottenham v Chelsea
For the first time since Neil Armstrong landed on the moon, Spurs go into a clash with Chelsea in better form.
I wonder if Abramovitch would give up Russia's winning world cup bid in exchange for Gareth Bale at Stamford Bridge?


Man United v Arsenal
Patrice Evra told the press that Arsenal will win nothing with their team of kids.
Well that's Arsene Wengers team talk done for him.

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Until the next time
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Football Funnies November 1st-12th 2000 and Ten...

Football Fortnight of Funnies
November 1st-13th 2000 and Ten...
 
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Man United 2 Tottenham Hotspur 0
Harry Redknapp had threatened to stop speaking to the media if he's fined for his outburst at referee Mark Clattenburg for Nani's controversial second goal.
Happy Harry lost for words?? I'm temporarily lost for words myself about that.



Tottenham 3 Inter Milan 1

Another inspired performance from Gareth Bale saw Spurs turn the European Champions into the 'Chumpions'.
If only Rafa Benitez had concentrated on putting a dossier together on Bale instead of Roy Hodgeson, he might have got something from this game...



Bolton 4 Tottenham Hotspur 2
Tottenham were brought down to earth by Kevin Davies and co in their return to premier league football
I thought the Lord Mayors Show was THIS Saturday (13th) in London, not last week at the Reebok??


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Shakhtar Donuts 2 Arsenal 1
Arsene Wenger has appealed the result as both goals were scored by Arsenal connections  - an own goal by Craig Eastmond and former Highbury hero Edu.


ARSENE PLAYING AWAY IN EUROPE
Weekend newspapers were full of stories about the Arsenal manager romancing a younger woman in France
Wenger refused to comment on the story, the reason being he didn't see the article's...



ARSENAL 0 NEWCASTLE 1
Newcastle gained revenge for their recent 4-0 defeat in the Carling Cup with this win at the Emirates.
Newcastle won in London?? The same Newcastle that lost 6-1 at Brisbane Road recently??...

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CHELSEA 4 BAYERN MUNICH 0
This reserve team match was notable for assistant manager Ray Wilkins being SACKED at half-time...
HALF TIME?? Have Chelsea taken John Sitton on as coaching consultant??

Frankly Speaking
Frank Lampard is expected to be out for another two weeks after initially hoping to be back against Liverpool.
He's not actually fit, but he might return earlier, just to get out of the house and listening to Christine Bleakley going on about how bad the DAYBREAK viewing figures are...


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Wolves 2 Man City 1
Kolo Toure - £220,000 a week and he's allowed to go home at half-time to beat the traffic -
imagine his salary if he stayed for the whole game.

Reinforcements Needed At Anfield
Now the ownership problems are resolved, manager Roy Hodgeson needs to sign some strikers to give him back up, rather than playing Babel and Kuyt out of position.
What are Robbie Fowler and Ian Rush upto nowadays? (don't mention Emile Heskey or Michael Ow..)


BRUM DERBY DEAL
An Aston Villa fan was thrown out of the game v Birmingham for heading the ball back into play.
THROWN OUT?! On current form Gerrard Houllier should have put him in the first team (instead of Emile Heskey?)

EDGAR AND OUT
Edgar Davids has left Crystal Palace after featuring in just 7 games since joining the South Londoners.
He obviously wasn't looking forward to playing in League One next season...
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AND FINALLY - Thought Of The Day...
It's time to bite the bullet, we already lost the services of Ryan Giggs, if we merge the England and Wales football team like we have done with the cricket, then we get Gareth Bale wearing the THREE LIONS (or Dragons, as long as he's on our side)

Enjoy the Game
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