Sunday, 12 August 2012

The #London2012 #ClosingCeremony - Hashtagging Highlights - The Best of The Tweets

Well I'm exhausted. Three and bit hours of tweeting the action and the funniest possible thoughts I could bleed from my brain at the shortest notice. So, for your pleasure, like a Big Brother contestant evicted from the house, here's the best bits...

Sunday 9pm  GMT
LIKE MANY GOOD RECIPES, IT STARTED WITH A BIT OF GINGER...

RT Geri Halliwell  Are you ready?..... >>> are you wearing THE DRESS? 

After the success of the Mens  blog/tweet, I've decided to live-blog the . Stand by your beers.

The 100 metres blog/tweet was 1 tweet. tHEY'RE OFF. BOLT. BOLT. BOLT. BOLT. BOLT. BOLT. BOLT BOLT. BOLT. BOLT. FINISHED!!! 9.64 SECONDS!
It's the   the 2nd historical broadcast to pair Trevor Nelson and Huw Edwards together. They said it would never happen.


Pelham J Miles ‏@radiogagger
 opened by Emile Sander, who lives down the road in Bethnal Green. The cost of her taxi was a deciding factor. 


It's Barry from Auf Wiedersehen, Pet as Winston Churchill. Barry from Eastenders was unavailable.  

Prince Henry. Sounds like a tax dodge recommended to him by Gary Barlow.  

5,4,3,2,1, My name is Michael Caine. Del Boy & Rodney. Madness. It's the street party in a stadium.

One Direction. Hmmm, it's got a beat to it.  

Those dustbin lids and oil-cans will be returned to the Whitechapel Market when the   finishes

The Beatles. They always get wheeled out for these occasions. Or am I thinking of Madness? 

One Direction followed by  singing Waterloo Sunset. Most surreal wedding reception ever  

Emeli Sande is back! She remembered the words to her second song. 

Apparently Emeli Sande came back to sing a second song because I spelt her name wrong on her first song.  

Apparently Emeli Sande came back to sing a second song because I spelt her name wrong on her first song.  

I can't know the correct spelling for everyone who lives in Bethnal Green. I'm a busy man.

In a reverse of  athletes have to walk backwards at  As soon as Emeli arrives for her 3rd song.

And now, for the Daniel Kitson play within a play within a play 

Next up, Barry Gibb singing 'To Love Somebody' ,   

Our House followed by park Life. I'm getting deja vu. Has someone put the first CD on again?   Pet Shop Boys next

They have, they've put the same CD on AGAIN

presentation of medal to mens marathon winner. The marathon that went round in a loop to avoid Tower Hamlets

Uganda national anthem, heard worldwide by 4 billion people. Available as a download on itunes in the morning.  

It's the Dearly Departed section. Imagine.  

And now... DIRECT FROM HAMPSTEAD HEATH TOILETS - GEORGE MICHAEL  

'ev from eastenders would have loved this  
RIP 'ev

And now, Elton John. Sorry no, Emeli Sande. My piece of paper was upside down.  

And so starts the campaign to get pinball into the next Olympics.

 DOn't knock it, its another bronze minimum for

And now a hologram performance by the dearly missed Daaaaaaaaaaaaavid BOWIE.  

Lennox Lewis!  

Annie Lennox in a remake of Titanic The Musical  

When a man is tired of   he is tired of life.

Russell Brand being Russell Brand being Russell Brand. Personally handpicking the female cast for his section. 

FATBOY SLIM

NORM! Everybody knows his name.  

It's not about the cha-ching cha-ching  



You know your getting old when Baby Spice turns 30 and gets knocked up twice.   

Its like 1997 all over again.   

Oh dear Boris dancing.   

Close your eyes and its 1997. Next up Chumbawumba throwing a drink over John Prescott   

Beady Eye, singing Wonderwall by Oasis. Where is Noel and his high flying thingy band?

Nice of them to get a John Lennon tribute act in after the video of Imagine earlier.   

Danny Boyle is back   

Why is the brilliant Eric Idle dressed like C3PO?  

  finale will see Boris Johnson arrive on a zip-wire and then just dangle pointlessly waving two Union Flags

FREDDIE! Again... (DO radio gaga please freddie) 

Its Jessie J Mercury.  

We Will We Will Rock You. by Queen   Its like being at an Orient home win, minus about 77,500 people.

SO we've passed the flag and flame to Rio. Lucky it wasn't a baton, we would have dropped it.  

And now Rio's gift to London. lap-dancers in Hackney Road?. 

The 2016 Olympics will be held at... THE NOTTING HILL CARNIVAL 

I love it when the roadsweep downs tools and join in. 

PELE! I don't have time to google his full name... 


Well, it's been magnificent  & now at  we hand to Rio for 2016. Just hope they don't muck up the beach volleyball.

It's not about the money money money, its about the volunteers! Salute to the games-makers 

Who, Whooo, Whoooo, Whooooooo let the Rogg out? WHO LET THE ROGG OUT?  

And now in French. He's just showing off now. "ALL RIGHT JACK WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME"  

So long. Farewell. Missing you already. Olympics I love you so Want u 2 know. Please don't go, please don't go  

AND NOW... TAKE THAT.
Giant Respect for Ken Barlow  

The Who?  

Can't wait for the big finish from Emeli Sande 

THEY THINK ITS ALL OVER. IT IS NOW. Oh hang on, David Beckham and Emeli Sande to finish.  

AND SOME RETWEETS TO 'SPICE IT UP'





Brilliant Olympics, brilliant Twitter. And brilliant BBC. I'll look back on this fortnight in years to come as a highlight. G'night x
Retweeted by 
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3h
In just over two weeks' time the Games will begin, so keep cheering on our athletes as your support is much appreciated! 
Retweeted by 
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3h
Best night on twitter since Michael Jackson died
Retweeted by 
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3h
Twitter was made for nights like tonight. It was brilliant. You were all brilliant. The Olympics were brilliant. And Britain is brilliant.
Retweeted by 






Pelham J Miles
3 & a bit hours tweet blogging   i'm exhausted and empty. Time for some toast with chocolate philidelphia spread



























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London Olympics 2012: 10 More Questions I want Answered

1. Has Andy Murray solved his identity crisis by winning a Gold Medal at The Wimbledon Olympics, confirming once and for all he is British (until the next time he loses and becomes Scottish again?)

2. Which part of the non-sporting activity was funnier, The Queen parachuting into the stadium from a helicopter, or Boris Johnson being stuck on a zip-wire in Victoria Park, East London?

3. What's more disappointing, the TeamGB 4x100m relay runners dropping the baton every four years, or England footballers losing on penalties every two to four years?

4. Where were all the fun runners dressed as chickens and bananas at the London Olympic Marathons?

5. Does Mo Farahs bald head make him more aero dynamic?

6. How is Mo Farah so thin? Does he give all his dinners to his step-daughter? When does the Mo Farah diet plan & DVD go on sale? 



7. Is Jessica Ennis the first mixed-race athlete to win the Mixed-sports heptathlon?

8. Did Team GBs women boxers & twaekwondo competitors get in extra practice in town & city centres like Cardiff and Newcastle at chucking out time?

9. After completing the Double/Double of 2008/2012 100m & 200m will Usain Bolt now play the Spanish football team to decide who is really the worlds greatest?

10. Will Bolt be the first person to tweet while running the 100m Final in Rio 2016?
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Friday, 10 August 2012

London 2012: 10 Questions I want Answered

1. How do cyclists get to work?

2. How comes Diego Maradona wasn't in the Argentina Handball team?

3. Do Taekwondo medalists celebrate with a thai-curry?

4. Why did the Australian swimming team sink without trace?

5. Will their be beach volleyball at the Winter Olympics?



6. Is the 2016 Olympics being held in Rio Ferdinands back garden?

7. Will John Terry be invited ^^^ ?

8. How comes both losing semi-finalists in the boxing get Bronze medals, yet team team sports like hockey and football have to have a 3rd place play-off?

9. When will Husband and wife rowing be made an Olympic sport?

10. If Dressage is an Olympic sport, is massage in for 2016?



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Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Five reasons to give Chelsea hope v Barcelona


1. Ref is a friend of Roman Abramovitch
2. Lionel Messi doesn't like weather in London.
3. Barcelona team arrested for not paying congestion charge.
4. Chelsea switch floodlights off.
5. Errrr..

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Saturday, 31 March 2012

April Fool?

Rihanna has denied she is in a relationship with Ashton Kutcher
She just popped to his house at midnight (leaving at 4am) to borrow an umber-rella ella ella...

 Demi is cut up about the alleged relationship between Riri and Ashton.
She told friends "I cant take any Moore"
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Friday, 24 December 2010

Footy Funnies Christmas Eve 2000 and Ten

Footy Funnies Christmas Eve 2000 and Ten

Premier League Review

Man City 1 Everton 2
Defeat cost City top spot at Xmas, but good news is Tevez withdrew his transfer request.
I hear if Fergie had re-signed him for United, they were planning a big WELCOME TO MANCHESTER billboard at the Arndale.


Chelsea v Man United Postponed - due to snow and dangerous traffic.
This was a big inconvenience for United fans. Some had travelled from as far as West Ealing.


The Tea Cups Follow The Trawler
United confirmed this week that Sir Alex Ferguson overtook Matt Busby as the clubs longest serving manager.
It's been good times for Manchester suppliers of tea cups, hairdryers and chewing gum. And London based United fans.


Blackburn 1 West Ham 1 - Unlucky for Some
A draw at Ewood Park sent West Ham into Christmas bottom of the Premier League on just 13 points.
Highlight of the day was a debut for Hammers keeper Ruud Boffin, with a curtains haircut not seen in the Premier League since Ian Walker at Spurs and Leicester.
When your goalkeeper for West Ham, a closed pair of curtains in front of your eyes is the last thing you need...(Although it's a handy excuse that Rob Green might want to adopt...)


Clucking Hell
Big Sam Allardyce reckons someone at Blackburn put in a few bad words about him to the owners, hence his sacking.
Maybe someone just showed 'em a copy of his interview stating he wanted to manage Real Madrid instead.

******************************************************
WORLD CLUB CUP, SPL, Sports Personality of The Year

Jockeying For Centre Stage
David Beckham was given a Life Time Achievement award by the BBC at the annual Sports Personality of the Year Event.
In related news, AP McKoy won Minor Sorts Personality of The Year.


Inter Milan 3 TP Mezembe 0
Winnign the World Club Cup wasn't enough to save Rafa Benitez from the sack after publicy asking the chairman to bring in new signings or sack him.
I think Rafa regretted his outburst - shortly after he ran into the Mezembe dressing room shouting at the top of his broken english voice - "CAN WE PLAY YOU EVERY WEEK"

Motherwell 1 Hearts 2
An investigation was called into irreegular betting patterns on this game as large amounts were placed in the Liverpool area on a player being sent off - and Liverpool born Alex jennings was subseqently sent off...
I suppose it makes a change from burgling Stevie G's house while the reds are playing midweek games.
******************************************************

(Football) Seasons greetings to you all
Until the next time
Trigger
x




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Wednesday, 15 December 2010

Footy Funnies December 15th 2010 - FA CUP SPECIAL

In honour of the most amazing FA Cup match EVER, it's eight gags about Leyton Orient v Droylsden.




ORIENT ROUND-UP
Leyton Orient P Carlisle P
According to the pools panel this was a home win, but the league table hasn't added the three points to Orient.
Honestly, sometimes I think the Football League is more corrupt than FIFA.

(1) Leyton Orient 8 Droylesden 2 FA Cup 2nd Rounds Replay AET
Orient cruised through to the third round of the FA Cup after trailing 2-0 to non-league Droylesden after 77 minutes.
Even more amazing they managed to do it without a 13 minute hat-trick from Matthew Lockwood.

(2) Orient scored six goals in 30 minutes of extra-time, a record for the FA Cup, with Jonathan Tehoue and Scott McGleish both scoring hat-tricks.
The last time two Orient players scored 3 each was a training session against sunday league pub team Birkbeck Orient.

(3) A NIGHT OF RECORDS, REDS  AND 'RITHMATIC

If ten goals wasn't enough excitement, there were five sending-offs, including the Droylesden manager Dave Pace.
Perhaps Droylesden will do better in the annual 5 a side indoor Manchester Masters Event. Only four more off.

(4) Considering the O's have previously lost to non-league Margate, Enfield and Hendon in the Cup, being 2-0 down after 77 minutes was no surprise and some fans left early.
They missed 8 goals in 43 minutes, but they were back home in time to see Frankie Boyle's Tramadol Nights gag about Katie Price and her son Harvey.


(5) ORIENT PUT THE '8 INTO GREAT
Orient have scored 8 in a match three other times since 1988 against Colchester, Rochdale and Doncaster.
Droylesen must be wishing the referee had been Nigel Miller, famous for missing clear Orient goals...

(6) ORIENT TRENDY ONCE IN A LIFETIME
Orient were trending on Twitter in the top ten subjects being talked about for the first, and probably last time.
In fact, it's the first time since the invention of the internet the O's have been in the Top Ten of anything.
With the exception of lowest attendances, worst burgers and ground with flats on the corner of each side.

(7) The first Droylsden v Orient match was televised live on ESPN on a Monday night
Most neutrals were watching Sky Sports though, where Barcelona thrashed Real Madrid 5-0.
If only Orient matches were as predictable as Russia World Cup bids...


(8) THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED
The Orient v Droylesden replay wasn't televised as it clashed with Champions League fixtures.
After Madrid's 5-0 defeat at Barca, Alan Sugar's repeated his comments on Jose Mourinhio.
"The Special One? I'd like to see how he'd do at Leyton Orient with no money"
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And just incase you missed the goals... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5GuUG9mTtA

Until the next time
Trigger
x

* We apologise for ther many incorrect spellings of Droylsden in thsi article... Life is too short.
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